Learning to Love (Again)

Learning to Love (Again)

Learning to Love (Again) 1920 1280 Gary Ruelas, D.O., Ph.D.

I have mentioned the concept of LOVE often. I have defined LOVE as an energy of connection and thus health. And that disconnection being experienced not just as pain, but as a DIS-EASE. A sense of disharmony, isolation and perhaps loneliness. The harmony and balance that arises from the connection is a form of grace and is the most natural of healthy states

However the word LOVE has so many different anchors for humans. The “I LOVE YOU” may come with certain expectations or attachments, such as “I LOVE THE IMAGE I HAVE OF YOU” …so don’t change it. Or “I LOVE WHAT WE ARE CREATING” that offers me this desire, this experience, or perhaps another condition of attachment.

I have mentioned many times that we need to get our EGO-self out of the way. That the EGO-self, the I, the ME, moves our experience away from a union or a “we”. It might be experienced that we are asking the very being in which we believe we are, to give ourselves up. This is a paradox for sure, and quite a dilemma for many of us. For the EGO-self has been created and is a true part of our self-perception as well as a profound part of an identity for most. However, we were not born with an ego, nor is our ego our true inner self. It serves more like a Facebook page, something that we want others to see, something we are creating, but is not near all of us.

Our ego also can serve as a reservoir for uncomfortable emotions such as shame, guilt, anxiety, fear, loneliness, depression, helplessness etc.

To free ourselves from that part of ourselves, perhaps we can demonstrate a little SELF compassion. An understanding and validation of the EGO’s role, acknowledging its functions and holding its value. In doing so, we support it. And as we support it, we can also move into the compassion for who we are, which is a vulnerable, loving gracious, giving being or presence. And because we are human, we benefit from the protective role our ego has taken and will take if we feel uncomfortable and threatened. But as we hold ourselves in a compassionate place, we see our value, our worth, and may no longer need to define that part of us that KNOWS who we REALLY are and that there is no need to hold shame, guilt etc. in place.

Letting go through our breath is a start to letting go of the piece of being here and now.

The art of letting go is the compassionate narrative to accept forgiveness, to know that we are human and to understand that mistakes and errors are meant to grow from this process. That life itself is fluid and by letting go in a loving, compassionate manner, we allow for change to take place. Rather than if we were to hold on through negativity such as anger, guilt, and shame, which keeps real change from occurring. Let go to LET LIVE. Let go to LET the MIRACLES of LIFE OCCUR.

The more we give ourselves compassion, the more compassion we will have for others, and the kinder our worlds become.



Gary Ruelas, D.O., Ph.D.

Dr. Ruelas holds doctoral degrees and is licensed to practice in both medicine and psychology. He approaches his patients by gathering and analyzing data differently from other physician’s moving away from a disease model to a holistic functional model. Read Bio

All articles by : Gary Ruelas, D.O., Ph.D.